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Part of my heart went to Heaven on the 1st of April 2013, when my first born son Hugo was born at 22 weeks and 6 days, after a enormous fight to get to a safer gestation while on bed rest in hospital. We had been trying to have a baby for four and a half years when he was born.
We also had two very early losses before we conceived him.
We needed to have a familiar face who knew us and our history, and would have our backs.
Then there was the physical challenges, as I could not lift anything heavier than a few kilograms, could not do housework, could not walk around for long periods .
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For us there was the financial challenges of private obstetric care, which we chose due to feeling so let down by the public health system during Hugo’s pregnancy and birth.
High risk pregnancy, after the loss of a child, is like walking a tightrope.
Trying to maintain balance and calm, but feeling the nerves rising and the rope shaking.
At 7 weeks I was diagnosed with Gestational Diabetes, which added the further complication of having to prepare most of my food myself, plan it out, and make sure that I wasn’t eating to much carbohydrates , which was an incredibly time consuming process.
By 16 weeks it was evident that my body was going to fight being pregnant, I started contracting regularly whenever I did much of anything.